Grabbing a moment of clarity has never been easy. The challenges to daily reflection multiply like Hydra heads. Just getting up in the morning now feels like a monumental achievement. Is this really what the 30’s brings?
So, this morning, while I’m contemplating my metamorphosis into a cranky old hag, I test the cheese grits to make sure they are ready to serve. Ahhh…bliss! Creamy, comforting, sweet, sweet grits. Nevermind the fact that I’m immediately starting my day off kilter by taking that first bite. (Cause one bite of carbs never stays single for long.) Morning hair and glazed over eyes be damned! These babies just illicited a pure response of LOVE! I see a remnant of last night’s cookie baking, a paper bag, and get inspired to write on it.
About grits? Yes. Grits. Something. …anything…pen to paper…water & air. Argh!
So while my son, dives into his cheesy bowl of goodness, guiltfree and with reckless abandonment I might add, I hopped onto the stool next to him and started a list. A list of ten things I love. Not the kind of list that you show off, so you list all the things you want your friends and followers to use in defining or branding you, but a true honest to goodness moment of soul glimpsing.
After two entries, I get proud of myself and start making a list of all the other lists I could make. Things that make me happy, things I hate, things I want…but wait im already missing the point. I stop and allow my son to jot down the beginning of a list of every 2013 video game and admonish him and myself to stop. Take a breath. Answer really truthfully. What do I love, love, love? What do I want to attract more of in my life?
I realize that more than just being a good chance to practice discipline in writing daily, this is an exercise in faith. My list of “hate” and “want” would surely fill up that lunch bag and then whatever else I could get my hands on. But focusing on love, what I love, not only brings me back to a place of gratitude, but reminds me to reset my priorities and expectations for this day and for life.
My world can be a hell bound hand basket or a bowl of creamy grits. Only I can choose to acknowledge my ability to attract or put more of these listed things in my life. No one can tell me to do that and turn it into a real desire at that moment. It has to bubble up from within. Maybe due to being at a boiling point elsewhere in my life or just because its time to move on to the next step in the creative process. Baby steps. Grabbing the moment when it presents itself will be my salvation. At least until I figure out how to conjure up more existentialism at the stove.