There is a very good reason that this post is a week early! Listen up Procrastinators!
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE THOUGHT!
That’s right! Don’t roll your eyes at how simple this sounds. Here I’ve outlined eight steps to show your sweet lovey that you have mastered the art of thoughtfulness this Valentine’s Day. This isn’t just hot air. Whether you are chained to a clanky, but oh-so-lovely ball or in the honeymoon stages of early fluttery love, these tips can help you inject some passion into your efforts at wooing this season.
Based on responses I gathered from several lovely ladies I know, what women want most is…YOU! (Men-you are a different breed, but we hope you will feel loved by these actions too.)
Hooray for big overtures and flashy red and pink paraphernalia, but if you aren’t including at least one of these items into your Valentine’s Day repertoire, chances are you won’t be scoring as many points as you could be. And in the end, it’s about scoring the points that make you both feel happy, healthy and loved. Go love!
- Plan something. Anything. “It’s the thought that counts.” But.. REAL thoughts. Do not make the tired excuse that you have no money or time. Make an effort to actually stop and think about what will make your partner feel most cared for. Chances are, you could be doing a better job at getting face time without the kids, Blackberry or television blaring. Anything that allows you significant time for eye contact, body warmth and pheromones is a plus. (See my post on impersonal Catfish dating)
- Make something. Remember in Kindergarten when your mom’s tears spilled over at the sight of your crayon drawings? Well, forget it. Crayons probably won’t work now. But make your partner a meal, a new shoe rack for her closet, coupons for massages. You get it. Be creative or ask your kids for help, they are sure to have all the materials that you need. No kids? Printing is super impersonal, unless you include some handwritten note. Try to stay away from electronics.
- Be someone. How about the “you” she always wanted you to be and you sold on your first date? Relax. Geesh. Its temporary. But think back to the words you’ve exchanged and promises that you have made. Have you kept them all? Don’t lie, you know you haven’t. If not, this is a great time to make good on something you let slip by that meant something to your partner.
- Comprise on something substantial. Write it down and give it as a gift. It’s not material, it’s so much more. Just don’t use it as a tally mark for a future skirmish. This has to be a genuine and real, well-thought compromise on something to which you can truly and happily commit out of love.
- Indulge her. Alright, let’s set the scene. You both had to work all day and the restaurant was packed, so you really are drained. You can still watch one night of old movies (or whatever she likes) without snoring through it. Make coffee if you have to. It’s a small sacrifice to show that you are in touch with what makes her tick. And this will pay off in the long run, even if you are both too drained tonight.
- Ask questions. This could also be called- “Act like you actually give a crap.” Asking questions is the best way to get to know someone. You are changing every year and so is (s)he. Ask about new interests, dreams or favorite experiences. Keep it light and happy so it doesn’t feel like an interrogation. The best way to accomplish this is by asking “followup questions” to statements you hear your partner make in your conversations. In fact, put this one in your back pocket and use it often, because we could ALL do a better job of tuning in and not tuning out.
- Make a lunch date. Ask now so (s)he can plan the week. Make a reservation or make a picnic. Again, it’s the thought that counts. The day doesn’t start at 6pm. Take advantage of nontraditional romantic times of day and coupled with an unplanned gesture that evening from one of the other seven points in this article, you gain the element of sweet surprise!
- Write a love note. Try listing ten things you want your partner to know about you and invite him or her to do the same. Talk about it tonight, so that you can share your thoughts in a week on Valentine’s Day, when you have had a chance to really put some thought into it. This is a major winner if you can deliver not only the list, but a simple, from the heart love note attached. One of my personal favorites is also notes in unusual places like the cabinet, under a pillow, in a purse or on the dresser. Make little post-its and drop them everywhere. Sounds corny, but its uber-romantic.
If you try any of these thoughtful nuggets, let me know how they worked. Just remember, this is a commercial holiday, but its based in…
Don’t get grumpy that Hallmark is scoring big, focus on the TRUE MEANING of love as you know it. This is a chance to make an emotional deposit into your love tank and strengthen the bonds you hold most dear. Godspeed! May Cupid be with you.
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